Heart & Book Lessons
As we start another new school year, I am thinking about how I can be better organized, how we might find a schedule that suits everyone’s needs, and how I can focus on important issues rather than issues which demand attention by virtue of their immediacy. As I write this editorial, we have not yet officially started our lessons, although we have attended our first co-op day and thus have homework and lessons that need to be done. I actually have been postponing our home-based lessons as I knew this week was a crunch time with Esprit. This would normally not be as pressing but that same weekend happened to be my sister’s wedding out of town and the editor has informed me that I must turn everything in before I leave town for the big event.
Earlier today I scoured the Web looking for organizational tips that I could pass on to you. Everything I found seemed to be a retread of things I have read many times before. How to combat paper clutter, the importance of a family scheduling board, how to organize chores and housekeeping — not that I have conquered all these areas; far from it! However the greatest need in our homeschooling endeavors is not a bunch of tips but rather a greater understanding of how to love my children in the midst of the lessons, the housework, the clutter and our life.
I keep a file of notes, letters and articles that have inspired me and to which I turn again and again when I seem to have lost my way in this journey of home education.
Here are some gleanings from that file which I know I need to read again this time of year.
A long time ago, I asked a wise mom on an e-mail list this question:
“Can a busy, frazzled mom really drop everything when she is losing it with the children and just hit her knees before the children and call out to God for help?”
I have received advice on this question from several wise moms over the years.
They have told me that if a situation develops in the homeschooling day where a bad attitude is detected, where voices are raised, where a mom knows that she in not in a right relationship with her children, then a mom simply MUST drop the lesson and deal with the character/relationship issue right there and then. Even if you eventually get the academic lesson taught, you will have not won the real battle that day if you have lost your child’s heart. Here is a part of one mom’s answer:
“Yes, you can drop everything and call out to God if you remember that your responsibility to your children is first to raise them to be godly men and women. Everything in our home is second to the attitude and actions of our children at any given moment. . . I have found that if you set yourself up to succeed in this area, you will. “I have made myself pull the children together and pray at moments of distress and anger. When we are having a lousy day, I will stop what we are doing and we will all go into the living room and spend a few moments identifying the difficulty and then get on our knees together and pray. It has softened me and made me more accessible to my children.”
A nother question asked was about how a homeschooling mom could develop the habit of a prayer conversation with God throughout the day, expressing her joys and fears, thanks and wishes. The answer was as follows:
“For me this has been an act of obedience to God. I make it a point to begin the day by saying something positive to each one of my children and my husband. This was a struggle for a long time. This has led to me being more in touch with my joys, fears, thanks and wishes…. As I find ways to communicate with my children, I am finding a new joy and freedom in communicating with God. As a result it has become almost commonplace for us to stop and pray.”
The skeptic (me) came back with this question: “But how can this be a natural part of one’s life with one’s children without appearing contrived?”
My friend’s answer:
“I think when you start out doing something you feel is obedience to God’s will for you, your children will see past your efforts to your heart. I involved mine in the decision. I explained to them how important my relationship with God was and what this relationship looked like. I told them it Please turn to meant I prayed a lot even when I was teaching and my eyes were opened. And I wanted the same relationship for them and so I was going to start implementing some things during our day to encourage that. I think the key is asking God to reveal His will for your family and them being obedient to His response. I would encourage you to seek God and find a place to start.”
A place to start … hmmn, this was from a communication dated 1999.
I fear I still have not found that place to start, I can’t say that ongoing prayer is a natural part of my day. My children do know that my realationship with God is very real and very important but I am not sure that translates into how I respond during those inevitable frustrating times.
On this same topic another friend wrote me.
“I think the Presence of God is the key, at least for me. If a flesh and blood person was right there, with us, offering help when we asked, and giving us blessings and presents, we would speak out loud, acknowledging the presence, thanking and asking for help when we needed it. I would guess there are several reasons why we do not feel comfortable doing this with God. Since He is not flesh and blood body, we feel embarrassed, stiff, and sort of show-offy doing this. Since He is Spirit and e know he even knows our thoughts, it seems unnecessarily dramatic, more like a performance than a genuine expression of our hearts. . . My best guess would be that the best way to overcome it would be to just do it. A little at a time, here and there, quietly,to bow your head and pray when you feel the need for God’s help.”
There are more encouraging letters and items in my file but I will have to leave those for another time. Right now I hope the bits I have shared will motivate you to take those steps if your need to. Perhaps in the morning you could make it a point to compliment your children for something they did right the day before.
This along with a hug might set the tone for the day. Another thing I have done, albeit not perfectly, is to take a moment before the actual start of lessons for the day and ask my children individually how they are doing? is anything on their mind? and then pray for them specifically before we do our first lesson for that day. At the end of the day, don’t neglect tucking them in with some encouraging prayers reminding them that you are in their corner, confident that God will use them and their specific abilities and gifts in a mighty way to build His kingdom. I have made the mistake of neglecting this with some of my children, thinking they were getting to old to be “tucked in.” Yet I am realizing that it is the little things, the family rituals, that are the pegs in their lives, places they hang memories and where they find their confidence and security in the family. May you all have a blessed and prayerful start to the new homeschool year.
—JMT