Perfect family images
I alluded in November to the lost art of letter writing. I do not know about you but we are one of those families that send an end-of-the-year letter to out of town family and friends. OK, I admit that the past two letters were sent closer to Valentine’s Day, but no one seemed to mind. My strategy is to purchase paper with a winter theme rather than an obvious Christmas theme. I am someone who finds it very hard to let go of old friends and our letter is often the only communication I have with many many families.
I very much enjoy every family letter that I receive, especially those with a personal note. I do try to add a handwritten personal note to everyone which is why I am usually not on time.
I truly believe it is important what you write in these letters and notes to friends at Christmas (or after Christmas as the case may be). Here is an example of what not to write. I first read this years ago and asked the writer of it, Judy Gruen, for permission to reprint it. She generously allowed me to use it. I do not think it was a letter she actually received but it makes the point well.
The following letter was enclosed with a glossy, color photo of Ruth, her husband Sherman, their three smiling kids and Labrador:
Dear Friends and Family,
Wow! Can the year be ending already? It seems just yesterday I wrote our last year’s letter and told you about Sherman’s winning the Ironman triathlon and his being promoted to district supervisor for Big Loans ‘R Us Bank & Trust. Honestly, I couldn’t imagine that anything could top that!
But Fortune has smiled on our family again this year. Sherman’s cost-cutting analysis at Big Loans ‘R Us earned him a cruise to the Caribbean for the whole family, and it was the trip of a lifetime! If they hadn’t had all those jazzercise classes on board, I’m sure I would have come home as big as our breakfast nook! Sher’s athletic training continues to pay off, and he kept the Ironman title he won last year, beating out guys 10 years his junior.
I may have mentioned last year that Garth won a full academic scholarship to Duke, but in case that detail slipped my mind, Garth won a full academic scholarship to Duke. In addition to making Dean’s List, he’s also the youngest starter Duke has ever had on their basketball team! Not bad for a kid who’s only 5’8”! Lydia is drum majorette in the high school band, and also heads the teen division of our neighborhood’s anti-poverty campaign. Between school, band practice, and the anti-poverty campaign, I don’t know how she also finds time to tutor learningdisabled kids, but somehow she manages. Not to be outdone, Emerson has won the national Spelling Bee (you may have seen his photo in USA Today). This was the first time a private school student beat those pesky homeschoolers, who had wrapped up the National Spelling Bee for several years running. You can imagine how proud we are!
As for me, the government finally granted my patent on a herbal-based skin cream that does everything that Botox can do, only without freezing your facial expression. And to think I came up with the idea while pruning our garden! (You may recall that our garden was featured in an issue of Metropolitan Home as an example of what you can grow in a small space). Now that I have secured investors, I’m hoping to take my new company public sometime next year. I must say I’m pretty darned excited!
Finally, we can’t neglect our faithful dog, Gastro. After extensive research, we found a suitable female purebred Lab whom Gastro could “get to know,” in the biblical sense. The results are seven adorable Lab pups who fetched top dollar! Gastro will also appear in a new book to be published this year featuring dogs in comedic situations. He will star on several pages, including one where he looks “doggone” dashing, donning sunglasses and a visor!
I hope the New Year brings good things to all of you. Remember, you can always catch up on our family news and see new photos of us on our Web site, tooperfectfamily.org. I look forward to hearing from all of YOU!”
The comment made by Judy was that “Ruth signed off just in time, because by this point if I saw another exclamation mark I think I would have screamed and frightened the neighbors.” (Excerpted with permission from The Women’s Daily Irony Supplement, by Judy Gruen. Judy is the author of three award winning humor books and is a speaker. Her work has appeared in the Boston Globe, Chicago Tribune, Ladies’ Home Journal, Woman’s Day, and many other media outlets. She’s also the proud mother of four great kids. You can read more of her work on http://www.judygruen.com/, and e-mail her at judy@judygruen.com.
Now that is good for a laugh (which we all need in the midst of holiday stress) but also to make a point that what we write others in our letters, blogs, e-mails or other communications might make the recipient feel somewhat discouraged. Our letters to others should be filled with honesty, grace and stories of God’s faithfulness. It is a good thing to write an end of year letter and note the evidences of God’s mercy. God’s people were often instructed to memorialize for each other God’s gracious dealings with them. Sometimes this was done with a pile of stones, other times it was done orally. We are called to talk of what the Lord has done for us, for our own benefit as well as that of the hearers.
This is not to say that you should not share the accomplishments of your children in your letters. Your friends and relatives want to know how God has been gracious to your family and how your family has been blessed in very specific ways. It is good to share what talents and giftings your children have and how these are being utilized. Alongside the accomplishments (if there is room!) you may also want to write about what you are learning, challenges you have faced, books you are reading which have been especially helpful or uplifting and other real-life helps.
If you happen to read one of those too perfect letters or too perfect blogs and start to feel discouraged that your family is just not that accomplished, your house is just not that picture worthy, your school lessons are just not that creative or your meals are just not that gourmet, remember the wisdom of not comparing and being content. We can rejoice in accomplishments and blessings of others and be thankful for what God has given us; it may not be our natural response but it is one we can choose with God’s grace.
In this issue, we hope you will enjoy the excerpt of Pastor Tedd’s new book Instructing Your Child’s Heart. We selected this because the end of the year often brings much introspection and self-examination.
The year may not have turned out as well as you had hoped. You probably have not been able to root out all those ugly behaviors in your children and yourself. Pastor Tripp has great insight in getting to the heart of the matter. I have greatly profited from reading this book and recommend it highly.
We wish you all the merriest of Christmas holidays and God’s richest grace in the coming year.
—JMT