Mirror images
Even though it is a timeless classic, I never could bring myself to read more than the first chapter or so of Jane Eyre when I was a girl. It was so dark, so bleak, rather oppressive, or so I thought.
But last year when my 16-year-old daughter read it, loved it and started watching movie adaptations of it, I was drawn into the story. That was when she enforced my rule: “No movie until you have read the book!” The rule is especiallty applicable to classics. So I read the book in one sitting until the wee hours of the morning. For the next few weeks, my daughter and I watched every movie adaptation we could beg, borrow or steal, actually just beg, borrow or rent!
We loved comparing each adaptation to the book, discussing which characters were well cast and which were not, which versions were truer to the book and which were a poor image of the lovely story of the spirited orphan girl who found true love, lost it and found it again.
My husband and sons were flummoxed. They could not understand why someone would want to watch different versions of the same story over and over.
I now have a new reading plan. I am identifying all the movies made from classics or worthy popular fiction and reading those books and then renting the movie. In my pile is I Capture the Castle, The Secret Life of Bees, Brideshead Revisited, North and South and Wives and Daughters. There is something quite delightful about reading a really wonderful story and then seeing it adapted to the screen. The image you have in your mind is tested, contrasted and weighed against someone else’s image.
There is another mirror image which is not so delightful. When you see a particular fault in your children and you think, “Why in the world are they like that?” It is often a fault which bothers you more than it should. “Aha,” you finally realize, “I am the same way, they are reflecting me!” 
Last month in my devotional reading, I read the story of the servant who was forgiven much debt by his master and then turned around and was totally merciless to a man who owed him a small amount.
Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, “Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.” Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him and forgave him the debt. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, “Pay me what you owe!” So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him saying, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.” And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he would pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and come and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow serant, just as I had pity on you?” And his master was very angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. — Matt. 18:23-35 NKJV
In my Bible notes it states that a talent was 6,000 denarii so, doing the math, one can calculate that the servant owed the king 60 million denarii which is 600,000 times as much as was owed him by his fellow servant.
In this parable, I saw my son’s fault instantly in how unmerciful he is to his brothers when they commit the least infraction or offense toward him. He lets no insult go unpunished; every jab must be answered with a bigger punch. This really bothered me. I would beg on the behalf of his brothers that he learn to show them mercy. Then I realized that he was just like me. I could not stand it when this son would get away with something, would exploit his brothers, would not have to make retribution for something unkind he did. I who have been forgiven everything cannot forgive my son but instead I want him to pay and pay big! I am just like that unjust steward and my son reflects me.
Even though I have confessed my wrongs to my son, old habits die hard. I am also very much like the man who sees his natural face in the mirror, observes himself, and goes away instantly forgetting what kind of man he saw (James 1:23,24)
Now I am not a mom who blames herself for all her children’s shortcomings. It is so easy to feel guilty when we know we have not been the best example in so many areas. However, when we see an area of sin in our children, it is perhaps an indication that their fault may be a reflection, perhaps a magnified one, of some sin of ours.
When we draw near to Christ who is the perfect law of liberty, we will constantly see who we are and Who He is. By His grace we can become effectual doers.
May we reflect his love and grace to our children in our day to day dealings with them.
—Jeannette Tulis