Gifts for the taking
I must admit I have a kind of conflicted relationship with Ann Voskamp and her writings. On the one hand I am drawn to her gorgeous prose with its accompanying photographs of simple things beautifully arranged. On the other I read her musings, her battles within and I feel horribly inadequate.
Why does it make me feel inadequate?
Ann’s posts are full of impossibly beautiful writing, including achingly poignant descriptions. Ann wears her heart for Jesus on her sleeve and there is lots of authentic bleeding of emotions. Notice I said authentic. Even in my most jaded times, I recognize that Ann Voskamp is the real deal. What she writes is what she is. And so everyday I open her post in my inbox and I am momentarily immersed in the life of a woman who so loves the Lord so much that it hurts.Ann is a homeschool mom living in Canada on a farm with her husband and six children. She has known much adversity in her life and she writes about her struggles, her homeschool life, their farm, her marriage, her family, on a blog called Holy Experience. Ann is also the author of A Child’s Geography curriculum.
Perhaps we are not all geared to have such an emotional relationship with God. Some of us may be bent in that direction. I know other women who have written about their relationship with Christ in a similar fashion. I know it is my problem, but it can make me feel like I am missing out, that I am cold-hearted, that I do not care about the Lord in the same way. Why is there no giddiness? Why no consistent heart yearnings for intimacy with Him?
That said, I am convinced that, regardless of our “bent,” we all should cultivate this attitude of gratitude. I want my children to be appreciative of the Lord’s graciousness in their lives. I know I must model this in mine so last year I tried to keep a gratitude journal. After one year, I had about four entries. What does that pitiful effort say about me? Probably that I am too busy and otherwise occupied to take time to be grateful or remember God’s abundant graces.
Shortly after the first of the year I read Ann’s challenge for 2012. She called it her “joy dare.” This time she dared her readers to join her in the January challenge to start counting 1,000 gifts in 2012. Instead of just numbering random gifts, she made suggestions for three things to look for each day of the month. I decided to give it one more shot. The results have been rather surprising. It has made each day a sort of treasure hunt for God’s grace. It is the 21st of the month as I write this and so far, I have kept it up fairly well. Of course, God’s grace is all around us. Our days are full of His mercy. But there is something about starting the day with the idea of looking for very specific evidences of his gifts to us, which has produced much delight. Let me share some samples with you.
On the eighth of the month, the prompt was: a light that caught me, a reflection that surprised me, a shadow that fell lovely. I read this in the morning and tried to find these things throughout the day. I have never seen such a gray cheerless day as that one, so I switched up Day 8 with day 9. The next day also dawned dark and dreary but at the end of the afternoon, the sun came shining through the rain and made the dogwood tree in the front yard look as if it were sparkling with tiny diamonds.
I stopped our lessons and pointed out the beauty in front of us to my 9 year old. He and I took a quiet moment to revel in the loveliness before us. Then I ran out to the back yard and sure enough, there was a spectacular rainbow, the reminder of God’s covenant with man.
On the nineteenth of the month, one of the prompts was a grace that might never have been. We were still trying to finish our lessons, but I noticed the sunset was creating an especially gorgeous sky out the window. “Hurry up and put on your shoes, I told my son. We have to take a walk.” Despite his objections, we bundled up and headed into the woods behind our house at twilight time. The trees were silhouetted in the waning light behind us. It was a short walk but infused much loveliness into our day, and we had almost missed it.
I must admit that my cynical self sometimes reads my journal and thinks some of the graces recorded are a bit contrived. But no matter. I am becoming aware each day of specific things for which I can be and am grateful.
Thank you, Ann Voskamp, for writing your beautiful thoughts and for inspiring this busy, often too-practical mom to recognize God’s grace all around me in a thousand gifts and more.
—JMT